I call you love
but you are far more complicated than a lover
you are friend
secret keeper
audience to my stories
when I feel the need to tell them
you are sunlight and rain to my chlorophyll heart
I drink you in
to root myself in living
in loving
you are puppy
kitten
fluffy ball of cuteness
in a world that sometimes overwhelms me
with its gritty reality
you are tattoo
a permanent reminder of who I was
who I am
and who I want to be
you are coffee with the right amount of cream
a touch of sugar
caffeine waking up my weary heart one more time
with a bittersweet kiss on my tongue
you are more than magic
and mayhem
and heartfelt prayer
you are warm sheets and a light on when I get home
you are the last cookie on after long day
you are love
Tag: Love / Heartbreak
obviously any poems about love, heartbreak, and relationships
story [poem]
tell me a story
love
your story
tell me about your parents
how they met in a small town back home
where everyone knows everyone’s business
tell me about the move out west
when your little family started growing
tell me about your brother
and his ridiculous obsession with pogs
tell me about that one teacher
who taught you to dive face first into a good book
just for fun
tell me about your first job
and the realization that money is a troublesome thing
as much of a trap as it is a key to freedom
tell me about the cracks in your heart
and the ones who put them there on purpose
tell me about the cracks you’ve made in others too
tell me about your smallest dream
the one that’s so close just waiting for you
to stand up and touch it
tell me about the fear that keeps you awake at night
maybe our demons
can dance together in the darkness
tell me a story
love
all about you
I prefer [poem]
I prefer poetry as my therapy
healing wounds I can’t fix
the ones scored along my insides
but when it comes to you
I prefer silence
to the spilling of one more word in your memory
I prefer this nightly insomnia
to the dreams that haunt me when I’m awake
I prefer heartburn from late night snacking
to the heartache of midnight reminiscences
I prefer bleeding out anger until I turn cold from loss
to lighting myself on fire for you
I prefer sinking into my shadows until we’re one being
to avoiding the darkness born of betrayal and hurt
and you
even when I’m trying to avoid it
it seems I prefer writing poetry
to you
spider [poem]
a spider weaves a new web each day
this we all know
what’s more interesting
is the way the spider eats the old threads
to recycle their essence into energy
there is no waste in a spider’s efforts
my heart is a weaver too
my love
a tangled web of threads
tying heart to heart to heart
spider silk is stronger than steel
but reality says that doesn’t matter
in the face of bigger badder things
a stick will always win
loving you is like spider silk
a paradox of strength and fragility
when you break our thread
it hurts
but I don’t waste it
I swallow the remnants of our love
and recycle it
into new ways to love others
or even new ways to love myself
organized chaos [poem]
I live in a state of organized chaos
it’s true
the way my things have special piles and lists
so many lists
of what to do and when and where
and pages and pages of why
my life reflects my mind
so you’ll have to excuse the mess
and get comfortable with the way I think
loving me is stepping into a thick fog
with no clue what’s ahead
you’ll need to enjoy the mystery
I can’t color code myself enough
to make sense to anyone who’s not
really
interested
in understanding
in untangling the knotted yarn
of my ever-spinning heart
you’ll need to have patience
before you start this odd journey
or you’ll get lost from me
long before love is in our sight
be ready to wander aimlessly
shamelessly
through the flickering memories I share
until somehow it all makes sense
in its own
chaotic
way
heartache [poem]
sometimes
it is the emptiness you feel
when the truth is said out loud
for the first time
sometimes
it is the sudden shiver up your spine
love’s ghost as it haunts your bedroom at night
and your can’t sleep
sometimes
it is a familiar ship seen long before it arrives
finally reaching the harbor of your heart
with its heavy cargo
sometimes
it is the sharp sting of realization
when they don’t look back as they leave you
again
sometimes
it is the catchy chorus
of what used to be your favorite song
stuck on repeat in your head
sometimes
it is the desire to curl up under thick blankets
with a book and a few hours of escapism
from the chill of your lonely bones
sometimes
it is the ever present shadow
that makes your heart skip a beat in fear
as it dances at the edges of your vision
but sometimes
sometimes it is the light too
heavy lessons [poem]
these are the things I no longer wish to understand
like the empty ache
of a new cold space on the bed beside you
and the fading scent of the one who left
like the heavy pressure on your chest
that makes the idea of getting up
almost impossible
like the sting of rough hands
unwanted on tender skin
the violation of heart and body both
memories are bitter reminders
caution tape and flares
I will never not understand
the touch of betrayal or
the taste of depression or
the heat of violence
these things are a part of me
like it or not
I don’t love you anymore [poem]
he never said
I don’t love you anymore
that would be too straight forward
too honest and far too brutal
so instead
he said
there’s a job down south and
my brother has a spare room I can use
I’ve always wanted to live in the city
and I know you don’t
I’ll come by for my things this weekend
he said
I don’t see what the big deal is
your grandpa always was a dick and
he was getting old anyway
didn’t he have diabetes or something
I don’t know why you’re so upset he’s dead
he said
this was fun babe but
I don’t really want anything serious right now
I thought you knew that when this started
don’t be so naive
he said
it doesn’t matter what she thinks
she doesn’t own me
what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her
come on goddess
just send me another pretty picture
he said
I’m sorry I lied to you but
I told you not to trust me in the first place
you only have yourself to blame
you silly little girl
insomniac love [poem]
you were my last love
but you won’t be my last
love
I can feel it in my bones
the steady hum of the next one coming
you can’t stop it
love
even if you wanted to stop love
because it is as inevitable as gravity
pulling two hearts together
or three
or half a dozen
the number doesn’t matter
love
how they feel is all that matters in love
I can’t say I wish you the best
considering the way we crumbled into clay dust
at your careless handling
but I do wish you to find love
even when empathy for you is hard to find
love
it’s this heart
this beating bleeding heart inside of me
that refuses to lie down and rest
to take solace in being alone
my pulse is a war drum
pounding in my ears when I can’t sleep
I’ve become an insomniac
love
and I wonder if there’s some other insomniac love
waiting for me at midnight
every night
a little sleepless too
stray [poem]
I shy away from strangers
love
I might have even shied away from you by now
I just can’t help it
this desire to avoid the inevitable
to remain separate
but friendly
like the stray cat in the neighborhood
that all the kids pet
the one that finds an unlocked shed when it rains
rather than accepting a collar
and the promise of shelter that comes with it
darling
I’m a bit feral now
untouched and skittish over the strangest things
like too nice words
and warm hugs
I prefer to slink around the edges
rather than marching through the thick of things
avoidance at its best
and this
this is why I’m not sure how we’ll meet
I gave up [poem]
I gave up
I think that’s what bothers me the most
about my lost loves
the ones that came before you
and broke so many pieces of me into glitter
I stopped trying to hold onto their love
when I realized a single drop of it couldn’t make up
for the ocean of hurt they gave me along with it
but as pragmatic as that choice was
the truth is I quit
I folded before the hand was played through
and it bothers me to know that
to not know what might’ve been
I hate not knowing
more than I hate the idea of holding a losing hand
smell [poem]
he smelled like you
sweat and sweet spices and familiar soap
one sniff
and I was back in our tiny apartment
a box fan trying to help us
survive the Texas summer heat
we were happy
even when we were counting pennies
for a gallon of gas
I’m proud to say we understood
where to find joy in our simple life together
I finished ringing up his groceries
with a small smile on my face
thinking about you
we’re different people now
living very different lives
but you still smell like laughter
like comfort
like home
puzzle [poem]
she had a thing for puzzles
for seeing the beauty of the bigger picture
in all its mixed up pieces
she had enough patience to work with my
tear soaked jigsaw disaster
finding the missing outline
of my will to live and love again
buried under all the bits and pieces
of who I was
and am
and will be
she put me back together slowly
rebuilding the picture of the whole person I was
before I was cut to pieces in the first place
with her help
I’ve discarded the pieces of my puzzle that
no longer fit
ragged remnants of someone
I can’t picture myself as anymore
and together
we’re reassembling me
bit by precious bit
Larissa Lee 