I’m terrified of the unknown
so scared of letting happiness
fall through my careless fingers
like countless grains of sand
I’m always afraid of being
one choice short of a game over
my heart too tired to try again and again
inaction feels so much safer from the start
Tag: Poetry / Poetic Prose
genre: anything that’s focused on poetry, poetic prose, and inspirational writings
my favorite book [poem]
I treat my heart like my favorite book
thumbing through the happy memories from time to time
retelling those stories with a smile
but like my favorite book
I’m both incredibly cautious
and amazingly careless with my heart
I might dog-ear the pages of my favorite moments
but I’m so nervous to let anyone borrow this love
who knows what kind of condition they’ll return it in
or if they’ll return it at all
right?
friends in strange places [poem]
I had a tree friend once
and by that I mean
I once had a friend that was a small oak tree
his branches barely hitting the roof of our two story building
he wasn’t much of a talker
but he was the best at lending an ear
he wasn’t any good at hugs
but he grew a branch directly over the sidewalk
just to give me a high five every day
his leaves whispered loudest in the autumn breeze
and he caught the rain in his leaves the best
and I miss him
sometimes
when it’s too sunny outside
and there’s no tree to greet me when I get home
writing a book [poem]
it’s hard to write a book
the kind that’s supposed to teach a stranger things
without ever looking them in the eye
you’d think it the ideal way for an introvert to share her knowledge
but instead it’s a struggle
to spell out important concepts
in self-contained lessons
with no interaction
or discussion
or signal that anybody’s getting it
unlearning [poem]
I’m slowly unlearning my perfectionism
this constant self judgement
no longer welcomed into my life
it’s hard though
to push past the not good enough
and find comfort in my imperfections
Dad it’s your birthday [poem]
and I didn’t bother asking Mom for your number
I love you
but I prefer this silence just the same
it’s been years since I came out to you
half a decade since you told me
not to bother coming home
and I haven’t Dad
I love you
but this silence is my gift
wrapped in distance and disappointment
today I turned on the radio to wash the dishes
and I almost cried
[because a warrior gave up his place in Valhalla
to save his Valkyrie daughter]
because a song played
about a father sacrificing everything for his daughter
it’s one of my favorite songs Dad
one of the songs where
I blame my daddy issues for the tears
you were an amazing father once
I grew up loved
I never forget that
my friend worries that he’s a terrible father
and I use your love as an example of why
he’s doing everything right
because you loved me like your own flesh and blood
and what can you call a man
who loves his stepkids like their own
but a good father?
Dad you were a good father once
so good I never guessed I was a stepchild
until Mom decided to tell me so
every year I think about reaching out
about being the one to bend and break the silence
but I did nothing wrong Dad
there’s nothing wrong with the way I love
or the life I choose to live
maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive you
for not seeing it the same way
until then
I can only wish you happy birthday
in less than happy poetry
and relentless silence
taking care of you [poem]
I want to keep you forever
I want to tuck your heart into the safety
of my own rib cage
I want to run my fingers through your hair
I want to hold the world at bay
until you’re rested and ready to face it again
I want to bake you cookies
I want to fill you up until you’re not hungry anymore
be it for food or fun or affection
I want to curl up in the circle of your arms
I want to love you so thoroughly
that you forget what being lonely felt like
hopeless romantic [poem]
I’m not a hopeless romantic
my heart is full to the brim with hopeful optimism
instead I consider myself a helpless romantic
the kind of person who can’t help but want to love you
I will paint a lover’s every action with romance
but I will do the same to the actions of a stranger
love is in every moment
in every smile
every word
I can’t help but want love to be
all-encompassing and ever-present
embrace [poem]
I’m trying to find things to embrace
rather than continuing to float here
moved only by the current of the waters
and never with any effort to steer
toward or away from anything
I’m trying to stir this listless body into action
knowing it feels so good to dance
once you get started
but lying here unmoved is also good
and easier to not do
I’m trying to choose anything and everything
that pulls me away from inaction
even if it’s uncomfortable or awkward to get started
better to stumble than stand still
always so struck in my own head
traveler [poem]
I know myself by virtue of having never
been given a moment to linger
unchanged in a place of stillness
instead
I’ve traveled more miles than some family cars
felt the warm anger of a Kentucky summer storm
the sharp sting of summer’s hot kiss in Texas
the caffeinated bite of Germany in December
I’ve known people who have also traveled
unnumbered miles before we met
their roadmap worn in different places than mine
but both equally well used
this is how you build a raindrop child into an ocean
let her waters collect and grow
from puddle to pond to Pacific
I know how to navigate by the stars of
my own secret hopes and long lost memories
thanks to a lifetime spent
never walking the same path twice
only a traveler can know they’re home
by the way the trees move in the wind
winter butterfly [poem]
this is the longest night
and I am cocooned in this darkness
a winter butterfly
fed on the sap of evergreens
and ready to transform again
and again
and again
every new year
another rebirth into becoming myself
midwinter love [poem]
time slips by a phantom
without a whisper or goodbye
and suddenly it’s midwinter
and the grey skies murmur our names
a couple’s incantation
drawing us together to defeat the cold
and I want to watch the seasons change with you
taste the midsummer berries
under the blinding sun
and know we’ll melt next winter too
that new spring growth and dead autumn leaves
are both beauties we will witness together
again and again
I’m tired, Mom [poem]
I’m tired Mom
so tired of trying to convince people to do what’s right
I’m tired of men using
women’s bodies for their amusement
and the surprise they always show
when they finally get called out
like sexual harassment isn’t a problem
until you say its name 3 times in the mirror
I’m tired of trying to have civil conversations about gun control
when all they’ll say is
touch my guns and you’re dead
as if living in an apocalyptic fantasy LARP is normal
I’m tired of my rights getting chipped away
in the name of their God
as if the Bible says to punish the women
and the non-whites
and the gays
and the poor
Jesus must be so proud
at this point I’m out of steam Mom
my soul drained of any urge to continue the good fight
how good can it be when it’s always losing?
instead
I’m going to hand them the reigns
and watch the world burn
I may die
but at least my last words can be
I told you so
Larissa Lee 