Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Unfocused paganism

I suffer from unfocused paganism.

It means that…

…I remember the moon will be full tomorrow night, and I want to celebrate it, but I don’t.

…I watch the seasons change and acknowledge it in my Self, but my altar remains untouched.

…I forget to top off my offering waters or light the daily incense more often than I remember.

…I feel the waves of spirituality move around me, but I’m stuck in the seaweed.


I miss having focus. I miss being aimed at a topic and shot forward with purpose, attaining knowledge the goal. I miss walking a spiritual path side-by-side with people at my own level, people as spiritual as myself or more so. I miss singing silly chants and the warmth their energies brought to open circles, even when we all forgot the words. I miss being challenged, having someone push me to be the best Me I could be.

Right now I let others influence me, because I like to see people happy. My Will is dragged down by listlessness, by inactivity, by exhaustion, by frustration. My Will to be Pagan (capital “P”) with all the bells and whistles is diminished by my willingness to bend to the whims of others.

I’ve walked so far into the woods that I can’t see where the path stopped being clear-cut instructions in books and started being moment-to-moment experiences. I don’t know how to walk a path like this without a guide, without someone equally lost and in awe.

Sometimes, I’m a lonely pagan. I have the gods, but they didn’t build me to dance a spiral dance alone. I’ve always longed for big family gatherings and laughter, food and loud music. I am not the quiet girl; sometimes I just forget to turn up the volume so you can hear me.

I’ve contemplated many options. It makes me tired and sad to admit that I can’t solve my own problem.

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

25 Questions – Paganism/Wicca

A blog I’m subscribed to posted these twenty-five questions to show the diversity of opinions within Paganism. I am posting my answers here not just so my readers can get to know me better, but also in hopes that other bloggers will answer these questions on their own blogs.

1. What Do You Call Yourself?

– A pagan, because it’s the simplest answer from someone asking a simple question

2. Using Common Terms, Describe Your Path:

– I’m a pagan animist who practices Wicca.

3. Do You Draw from a Particular Path, Not Your Own, Frequently?:

– I try out other paths to experience the differences. For example, my friends and I performed a reconstructionist ritual to the Greek gods. I’ve lit a candle using a Unitarian Universalist blessing. I’ve performed rituals from various pagan/Wiccan paths (Asatru, Feri, Seax Wica, etc.).

4. Any Path Intimidate You?:

– I wouldn’t say intimidate, but ceremonial magic just turns me off with all of its rules (and angel work).

5. Favorite Herb:

– Lavender

6. Favorite Gemstone:

– I love opal for its look, but amethyst is the one I work with magically.

7.Favorite Divination Tool:

– I use my Fey Tarot deck the most, but I also enjoy color divination and using dice. I have (and kind of collect) several small, unique divination tools just for kicks.

8. Favorite Tools:

-I can pick up any athame (with permission, of course) and use it. I have a small collection of blades that appealed to my spirit.

9. Favorite Sabbat:

– I love both of the equinoxes; there’s something about the balance of night and day that soothes me.

10. Favorite Season:

– I’m a winter baby, so I love the season. I’d usually say autumn, but fall in Texas doesn’t mean cooler weather.

11. Favorite Pagan Book:

Earth, Air, Fire, Water by Scott Cunningham – my first exposure to Wicca

12. Favorite Book with Pagan Themes:

– the Sweep series by Cate Tiernan (called “Wicca” in Britain)

13. Favorite Myth:

– It’s not necessarily a myth, but Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein holds the idea that all religions and all heavens exist and are correct at the same time; I loved the concept so much that it became a part of my spirituality!

14. Patron God/dess:

– I don’t have one, per se. I’m an animist first, and I don’t worship gods in the traditional sense. I do, however, work with the Greek pantheon regularly. Nyx is the goddess I’ve interacted with the most, but Aphrodite and Artemis have also made connections. As for gods, I haven’t had a particular connection to anyone yet; I’ve worked with the Olympians, but Hades is the only one I got any kind of personal reaction from.

15. Other Aligned Deities:

– See 14.

16. Favorite ‘Pagan’ Saying:

– Live you must, and let to live / fairly take and fairly give. (It’s a set of lines from the poetic long version of the Wiccan Rede.)

17. Most Commonly Used Offering:

– I always light incense, both to alter our states of consciousness and as an offering.

18. Believe in the Rede?:

– I believe in personal responsibility and personal ethics (i.e. if I know that harming someone is negative and I choose to accept the consequences of such behavior, it is my business). Ethics should never be black or white, and no situation is exactly the same as any other.

19. Meditate?:

– Not often. I do occasionally zone out to music, mostly as a relaxation meditation.

20. Magic?:

– All of the time. Magic, to me, is the manipulation of energies. As an animist, I believe that everything has and uses energy; every moment we interact with energies around us, so every moment is magic.

21. If Yes to 20, Dark Witchcraft, Light Witchcraft, or In-between?:

– There is no such thing as dark or light, black or white magic; we are too human to be completely one thing or another. There are only shades of grey. See 18.

22. In or Out of the Broomcloset?:

– I’ve been out since 2001, all thanks to a careless/harmless question from a history teacher after he used a biblical analogy and saw a few confused faces.

23. Solitary or Coven Member:

– Why not both? I have a clan I practice with, and I often do smaller prayerwork and spellwork alone.

24. What Forms of Social Media Do You Use as a Pagan?:

– I actively use WordPress, Facebook, and Pinterest (though not just “as a pagan” technically). I have a Witchvox account, as well as memberships on several therian forums; I don’t actively use those, though.

25. If I Wasn’t Pagan/Wiccan, I Would Be…:

– Good question. I’d make an ideal Christian, because (ask around) I have a very forgiving heart and find Pope Francis to be a wonderful inspiration as a spiritual leader. However, I don’t think I would’ve connected to a male deity, even if I hadn’t been exposed to Wicca.


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