Posted in [poetry]

how to mourn a toxic person in six uneasy steps [poem]

one – know there will be shock
especially if you were fortunate enough to
cut them out of your life like a cancer
before this moment
you will freeze as your reality shifts
the world a different place without them in it

two – accept that you will have a moment of anger
where you do not mourn their death
where you feel relief that they’re gone
rather than grief at their passing
there is no shame in this reflex to protect yourself
from their harmful influence
to jerk away from their reach one more time

three – regret will try to find a home in your chest
maybe your cold shoulder was an unkindness
maybe it was unjustified
and you should’ve forgiven them one more time
but now it’s too late

four – don’t reach out to their grieving family
it will only make them rage at you
when they’re already raging at the gods
for taking their loved one so soon
everyone knows
you haven’t been a part of that family for years

five – consider lighting a candle or saying a prayer
then reconsider as you recall
all the ways you can’t quite wish them well
not even in death

six – when word finally gets around
don’t comment on their passing
let those who knew only their kindness
speak of how they’ll be missed
do not force yourself to mumble platitudes
to be silent is better than to be a bad liar

Posted in [poetry]

obliterated [poem]

I’m thankful for the scars
for the tender flesh turned armor
the ache of memory 
when I look
at the mosaic that is my heart
bruised and battered and broken
and yet
it is only a piece of what you

o   b   l   i   t   e   r   a   t   e   d 

with your carelessness
because he tore me in half with his betrayal
but you lit me on fire
you watched me burn
you called my ashes

Posted in [poetry]

Take Everything [poem]

I would let you hold me down
Wrists to ground
And take
And take
And take 
And I would give you
Everything in me
Give you the breath from my lungs
And the blood in my veins
And the beat
The beat
The beat of my heart
Until it stopped
Because trying to exist
Without you inside of me
Is like trying to live
Without water
And I feel like drowning in you
Every day
I’m so damn thirsty