Category: [witchcraft & wonder]

anything related to witchcraft, magick, spirituality, and philosophy

Posted in [book reviews], [witchcraft & wonder], [witchy reviews]

Ethics: Self

Posted on by Larissa Lee

The following questions and discussion cover Chapter 3:Self in When, Why… If by Robin Wood.

Introduction:

[See Personal Ethics: an introduction and Ethics: Honesty for the previous entries in this series.]

I love how hard this chapter is! It makes you look at yourself (with honesty) and realize how your choices and actions affect others, as well as yourself. Even now, looking at my answers from a week ago, I’m starting to question my self-assessment.

First, let me define a couple of things for those without the book. A Mego is someone who’s ego makes everything about them (i.e. “me me me”). An AntiMego is someone who always puts others first, sometimes to their detriment (i.e. “give until it hurts”). A balanced person may swing slightly between these two personality types, but they avoid the extremes on either end of the spectrum.

In my answers, I call myself a mild Mego. I originally based this rating on the fact that I’ve been very forceful lately, both with myself and those around me. My inner dialogue is less “but how will this make him/her feel?” and more “he/she will survive if I do this the way I was planning to”. At the same time, however, I recognize that I still put other people’s feelings and needs above my own regularly.

For example, my coworker gave incorrect information this morning. The Mego in me didn’t correct her, because I don’t enjoy her acidic attitude (she doesn’t take any form of criticism, constructive or not). I contacted our supervisor to ask for assistance, because she can correct my coworker without getting any lip in the process. The AntiMego in me contacted our supervisor for assistance, because I didn’t want her to continue making errors that affect her students, but I also understood that she wouldn’t handle my correction well. I didn’t want her day to be shot and tension to rule our office for the entire shift. Depending on how you view the situation, I acted either as a Mego or AntiMego.

As always with ethics, nothing is ever cut-and-dried.

Now, on with the chapter’s exercises!

 

[1] On the Mego-AntiMego continuum, I feel that I usually act like…

…a 4.9M, close to midrange but not perfectly balanced (and slightly more Mego than AntiMego).

[2] I say that because…

…I’ve been pushy lately with my wants, needs, and goals. I’ve accepted very little in the way of compromise, largely (I think) as an overreaction to being too flexible and willing in previous years.

[3] I want to change/don’t want to change because…

…I’m good where I am. I’ve always been midrange and almost balanced, and I think different parts of our lives deserve different levels of self-focus and selflessness. As long as the balance isn’t thrown into a huge pendulum of extremes, I think it’s all good.

[4] An honest, balanced self image would include…

…recognizing both your faults and your gifts without giving more weight to one or the other. Let each thing, good or bad, be measured on its true merit and not perceived value. For example, having a skill at creative writing is not less useful than the skill of cooking. Sure, cooking will actually feed a family and so forth, but a story will feed minds. Murderous rage is obviously a bigger flaw than biting your nails.

[5] Write a list of your best character traits; those things that you would love if you found them in someone else. Make sure there are at least ten things on your list.

I’m creative. I’m great with random facts. I say the weirdest things for a good laugh. I have a way with words that gets people to truly listen. I can cook randomly delicious meals out of miscellaneous pantry items in a pinch. I’m not dramatic. I enjoy simple pleasures, like movie night with friends. I don’t belittle or look down on others for not knowing something, because there are no stupid questions. I enjoy helping others. I love with an open heart.

[6] Write a list of things about yourself that you would like to change. Put no more than three things on your list.

I want to stop being a procrastinator, especially of my own dreams. I want to push myself to learn new things, even when I’m comfortable right where I am. I want to learn to let go better, so I can enjoy certain songs/smells/tastes again without negative memories clouding my enjoyment.

[7] If you pegged yourself at 3 or below, do something for someone else that can not possibly help you, every single day this week. If you are 7 or above, do something for yourself that can not possible help someone else, every single day tihs week. If you are between 3 and 7, decide which of these exercises you would get the most good out of, and do that. Or do some of both!

It’s hard to do this exercise for two reasons. One, I always forget it’s here until halfway through the week when I actually get to these questions. And two, I’m already a midrange person, so I already make a habit of balancing between myself and others. My biggest change is making an effort to do nice things that are out of the usual pattern, like washing and folding up all of the laundry myself instead of splitting the chore or cooking dinner without help.

[8] See all the clerks, waitresses etc. that you encounter today as real people, with their own lives, and their own stories to tell. Really look at them. Acknowledge them as people.

I’ve seen workers as people since my first job in high school. It’s hard to judge someone harshly when you’ve walked in their shoes and been just as underpaid and undermotivated. This lesson has never left me, and even the worst waiters and rudest clerks get treated as people.

[9] Treat everyone sharing the road with you today as if they were real people in cars of their own, with destinations as important to them as yours are to you. If someone cuts you off in traffic, say a prayer for their safety and that of everyone they encounter as they hurry to their goal.

I don’t suffer from road rage. My reaction to being cut off is “hey, be careful!” My usual passengers can attest to the fact that, after a near accident, I pray that person drives much more cautiously after escaping our near-crash. I’ve been laughed at for being too kind, but it falls into the same category as [8]. I can’t not see people as people, and I’m careful about throwing negativity around all willy-nilly.

[10] Do something spectacularly nice for someone in your family, just to surprise them. If you rated yourself as an 8.5 or above, then the person in your family to “treat” is you!

I’m going to do some serious cleaning this weekend (before class) to treat everyone else in the house. Normally, we scrape by with minimal cleaning (dishes, laundry, and trash) and nobody wants to touch dusting, sweeping, clutter, etc. Occasionally, I choose to do so in an effort to make everyone feel uncluttered and tidy.

[Note: I did do some cleaning, mostly of the living and dining areas. Everyone was pleased!]

 

Conclusion:

Everyone goes through phases of Mego and AntiMego in their life. It’s natural and (within a certain range) acceptable. The key is finding balance in your daily life, and learning to expand beyond your natural state when necessary. There’s nothing wrong with being a Mego, as long as you’re willing to step down and not be the most important thing in the room when it counts.

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Personal Challenges: Fire

Posted on by Larissa Lee 
There's a fire starting in my heart. 
Reaching a fever pitch 
it's bringing me out the dark.

Adele’s song is about heartbreak and a bit of vengeance, but the line above is one that reminds me of something else.

I am a Fire spirit right now.

I’ve been an intellectual (Air), a peacekeeper (Water), and a motherly figure (Earth) at various points in my life. However, I’ve never really been a forceful person. I haven’t been a leader, except when it was required by circumstance (i.e. when I was the closest thing to a leader-type person in the group and a decision needed to be made).

Something inside of me has changed.

I felt this shift around my birthday. I just decided that there were things I wanted in life, and it was time I demand them. My goals lined up in nice little rows, with easily attainable steps clearly defined for the first time in ages. For example:

Goal: Write a fiction book.
Step 1: Revive muse. Read a ton of books until the creative bug has bitten me and I’m infected with awesomeness.
Step 2: Start writing random crap that will never get published.
Step 3: Start writing the story I find most challenging and exciting.
Step 4: Let a few friends edit/comment on the story.
Step 5: Self-publish via Kindle or Etsy, depending on marketing preference. (E-book publishing is my preference.)
Step 6: Start over and repeat process for further books.

I’ve read eight books in May (so far). I’m finishing a ninth one today. I can already feel myself awakening; I’ve had to jot down notes a few times for random story snippettes and ideas. Now, most of those will never become actual stories; however, they’re a clear sign that my muse is being resurrected. It’s exciting!

I’ve started on other goals, as well. I’m eating healthy and trying to nudge my body back toward fertility (after years of birth control), with the eventual goal being a baby. I’ve reinitiated into my coven, with the eventual goal of being a high priestess and teacher. I’m taking baby steps toward changing the atmosphere (and junk) in my home, with the eventual goal of decluttered zen. All in all, I’m very driven and actively moving toward all of my goals.

It was during my pre-initiation meditation that I realized a fire was burning inside of me. (Coincidentally, the fire alarms went off upstairs where I was meditating…). Fire is the only element I haven’t taken any interest in before, nor have I actively worked with it in any capacity beyond basic quarter calls.

Fire is destructive, but it’s also cleansing. It burns away the underbrush and rubbish to clear the way for new growth.

Maybe it’s time for some big changes in my life?

We shall see.

Posted in [book reviews], [witchcraft & wonder], [witchy reviews]

Ethics: Honesty

Posted on by Larissa Lee

The following questions were found at the end of Chapter 2: Honesty in When, Why, If by Robin Wood.

[1] Define honesty.
Honesty is the truth in whatever package it is delivered (tactful or not). It’s a matter of honor, in
my eyes, because your word is your power (and a liar’s word is worthless).

[2] The thing I am most likely to be dishonest with myself about is…
…hard to pinpoint.

Originally, I thought that I lied to myself about my emotions. After careful review, I realize that I
don’t lie about them at all; instead, I simply choose not to act upon them if inconvenient.

Instead, I think I lie to myself about how much someone else will be affected by my emotions
(or lack thereof). I tell myself that my friend is better off not knowing how I feel about them or
their choices, even if the truth is that I’m more comfortable (read: complacent) with telling them
nothing and avoiding conflict.

[3] When I am dishonest with myself it is usually because…
…I’m tired.

I feel like I’m bone-deep tired of humans. It’s silly, I know. But sometimes I feel like all of the
drama and intrigue and conflict is infectious and beneath me. I notice myself internally sneering
about something, and then I cringe as I recognize the judgment expressed by that feeling. I keep
it to myself, because I don’t want to deal with conflict (even if it would easily be resolved).

[4] I have no problem being honest with myself about…
…my goals, wants, and needs. I’ve come a long way here. Something in my clicked, and I
suddenly knew with extreme clarity just what I wanted from life this time around.

[5] I can talk to anyone honestly about…
…opinions based in fact or study.

I can talk politics, religion, and sex with anyone, as long as respect is present. I don’t mind
differing opinions; in fact, I tend to thrive in them. You learn so much looking at life from a
stranger’s point of view. My only issue is when respect leaves a conversation; then, so do I.

[6] At the moment, I would rate my self-honesty as ___ on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being
constantly lying to myself, and 10 being completely and objectively honest with myself.
8-9

[7] I would give myself this rating, because…
…when I review how I communicate with myself, I see very little deceit. It pleases me to see my
own internal honesty, even if it doesn’t always manifest for others in my expression.

[8] In a year, I would like to be ___ on this honesty scale.
8-9

[9] I am trying for this much progress because…
…maintaining personal honesty is a good goal. I’d like to work on my ability to be honest with
others more, though. I’ve started this process by voicing my concerns and opinions to those I
speak to regularly, making sure I don’t keep my mouth shut to take the easy path.

[10] Honesty is important because…
…from honesty grows trust, respect, and love. It’s the foundation.

Feel free to share your thoughts or questions below!

Posted in [book reviews], [witchcraft & wonder], [witchy reviews]

Personal Ethics: an introduction

Posted on by Larissa Lee

Go read “When, Why, If” by Robin Wood.

Now.

Okay, you read it right?

Well, that book is one of my favorites for spiritual growth and personal development. While it was written for pagan people, I think that almost anyone could find a great depth of knowledge and insight into themselves (and their spirituality) by reading it.

The book covers ethics, ranging in topics from Honesty and Love to Harm and Help. It talks about how ethics aren’t concrete like morals. While a moral tells you “do this, don’t do that”, ethical behavior is about following less strict guidelines while measuring each situation for its best solution.

Nothing is ever cut-and-dried.

Should you steal? I’m guessing you’d say no. What if you were starving? What if you had three kids and the local shelter was closed for the night and none of you had eaten in days?

Should you kill? Traditionally, we’d say no. But we amend that moral with “unless it’s self-defense.” As a society, we’ve decided to allow for the right to protect your own life by taking someone else’s. However, it can get muddy. What if you simply “felt” in danger? What if that boy in the hoodie looked dangerous, looked like trouble, and you decided to remove him before any injury could occur? Is that self-defense? [Note: Yes, I’m referring to Trayvon Martin or any other young, dangerous-looking boy walking through the wrong place at the wrong time.]

Should you lie? White lies are considered part of being tactful; after all, no one likes the assbutt who constantly tells people they look like fat cows or smell like a gym sock (even if he’s telling the truth). We, as a society, don’t like rude people. However, we don’t like liars either. Is it okay to lie to get into office? What if you lie by omission, rather than outright lying to someone? Lies break trust, so the more often you lie the more you wittle down the amount of trust people feel toward you.

Ethics have no straight lines. In fact, I’d say ethics are a bit wibbly wobbly, timey wimey at the core. No two people will feel the exact same way about every situation.

A perfect example would be me and my friend Sarah. When a man almost t-boned us on the way to work one morning, we had two completely different reactions. I wished hard that he would be scared into driving safely for weeks after our near-miss. She wished just as hard that he’d find his car wrapped around a pole. I don’t believe in wishing harm on others, because thoughts are energy. Sarah doesn’t feel that her thoughts hold any more power than a middle finger raised in his rearview mirror, so she feels no qualms about hoping his day ends violently. We are like sisters, but we are not always the same. Again, ethics are personal.

My blog will have random posts for the next few weeks. I’ve decided to share my answers to the workbook questions found in “When, Why, If”. I’ve always been a bit of an open book, and maybe you’ll glean something from my thoughts.

Feel free to ask questions!

Posted in [poetry], [witchcraft & wonder], [writer stuff]

The Spirituality of LARPing

Posted on by Larissa Lee

There are spiritual aspects to everything we do. Reading, writing. Working. Dancing, singing, playing. Eating, sleeping, bathing.

And LARPing.

LARP - noun - Live Action Role Play, a game in which a person wears a persona while interacting with others and playing out a plot

I’m preparing for my first LARP in a week or so. I’ve played a bit of D&D, and I’ve led a storytelling version of Vampire: The Masquerade with half a dozen friends. The biggest change here is the addition of more strangers and less control.

My character is exactly how I like her. A neonate vampire, made just a couple of weeks before meeting, full of questions and excitement over joining a new species and society all at once. In other words, she’s me.

There’s a spirituality in being yourself in someone else’s skin.

You can explore yourself in the safety of unreality.
You can explore the dark places,
the parts that want to go bump in the night,
the parts that scare you when you think of them,
the secrets.
You can explore the limitless god within yourself,
the part that holds life and death
like they were drumsticks and
your lap the drum.
You can explore the broken pieces of you,
the parts woven into your story
into your character
as if they were fictions
you could play out and drop
on a whim.

There is a reason mankind is full of storytellers. Writers. Directors. Producers. Teachers. Politicians. Cashiers. Everyone is a storyteller in some way or another. We can’t resist the urge to spin out a tale when interacting with others.

Every character you ever play in your stories is a reflection of you.

My main characters used to yearn and reach for finding love and saving the day. When life let me find contentment and commitment, I moved away from those personas. I prefer knowledge seekers, explorers, and wild ones in my stories as my life goals reflect theirs.

I nervously look forward to becoming a new me, wrapped in vampire and mythology. My tentative hope is to sink deeply into this new self and become something deeper in the process.

Who do you pretend to be?

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Unfocused paganism

Posted on by Larissa Lee

I suffer from unfocused paganism.

It means that…

…I remember the moon will be full tomorrow night, and I want to celebrate it, but I don’t.

…I watch the seasons change and acknowledge it in my Self, but my altar remains untouched.

…I forget to top off my offering waters or light the daily incense more often than I remember.

…I feel the waves of spirituality move around me, but I’m stuck in the seaweed.

 

I miss having focus. I miss being aimed at a topic and shot forward with purpose, attaining knowledge the goal. I miss walking a spiritual path side-by-side with people at my own level, people as spiritual as myself or more so. I miss singing silly chants and the warmth their energies brought to open circles, even when we all forgot the words. I miss being challenged, having someone push me to be the best Me I could be.

Right now I let others influence me, because I like to see people happy. My Will is dragged down by listlessness, by inactivity, by exhaustion, by frustration. My Will to be Pagan (capital “P”) with all the bells and whistles is diminished by my willingness to bend to the whims of others.

I’ve walked so far into the woods that I can’t see where the path stopped being clear-cut instructions in books and started being moment-to-moment experiences. I don’t know how to walk a path like this without a guide, without someone equally lost and in awe.

Sometimes, I’m a lonely pagan. I have the gods, but they didn’t build me to dance a spiral dance alone. I’ve always longed for big family gatherings and laughter, food and loud music. I am not the quiet girl; sometimes I just forget to turn up the volume so you can hear me.

I’ve contemplated many options. It makes me tired and sad to admit that I can’t solve my own problem.

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

QWERTY Sigils

Posted on by Larissa Lee

A sigil is a symbol that represents a thing or idea, but without being a picture or word that defines it. For example:

This is a personal sigil for Inspiration.
This is a personal sigil for Inspiration.

The sigil above represents “Inspiration”, at least to me. It’s a just squiggle to others, which means they may not find any power in using it. However, it was created using a method I developed.

First of all, most sigils are made using one of two methods. Some are made using magick squares, which are squares associated with the planets and elements that hold certain types of energy. These incorporate a bit of numerology and time. Others simply take a word or phrase, simplify it down to the minimum letters, and create a mashup from them to form a sigil.

I don’t like either method. Over a decade of pagan studies, I had never enjoyed studying sigils in the slightest. But then something clicked…

I was training with my old coven, tracing a sigil we’d just made as practice with my finger. Suddenly, I realized that the motion of my finger was similar to the motion of a person typing with one finger. An idea was born!

Taking a picture of a QWERTY keyboard, I started tracing words one letter at a time. The result? Sigils! They look like the sigil in the photo above (if you use a loose hand), or like the image below if you use digital tools.

Inspiration sigil on a QWERTY keyboard
Inspiration sigil on a QWERTY keyboard

If you’re a speed demon on the keyboard like I am (thanks, internet!), typing comes without thought. You can trace almost any word into a sigil. Cool, right?

It gets even cooler, though! You can turn any sigil into a ritual action, too! Just trace the word’s swype movements in the air, and you’ve used your sigil to call Earth or charge a candle’s flame with Protection.

It’s so easy!

[I randomly thought I’d share. I was skimming the posts tagged as “pagan”, and someone mentioned sigils and runes.]

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

25 Questions – Paganism/Wicca

Posted on by Larissa Lee

A blog I’m subscribed to posted these twenty-five questions to show the diversity of opinions within Paganism. I am posting my answers here not just so my readers can get to know me better, but also in hopes that other bloggers will answer these questions on their own blogs.

1. What Do You Call Yourself?

– A pagan, because it’s the simplest answer from someone asking a simple question

2. Using Common Terms, Describe Your Path:

– I’m a pagan animist who practices Wicca.

3. Do You Draw from a Particular Path, Not Your Own, Frequently?:

– I try out other paths to experience the differences. For example, my friends and I performed a reconstructionist ritual to the Greek gods. I’ve lit a candle using a Unitarian Universalist blessing. I’ve performed rituals from various pagan/Wiccan paths (Asatru, Feri, Seax Wica, etc.).

4. Any Path Intimidate You?:

– I wouldn’t say intimidate, but ceremonial magic just turns me off with all of its rules (and angel work).

5. Favorite Herb:

– Lavender

6. Favorite Gemstone:

– I love opal for its look, but amethyst is the one I work with magically.

7.Favorite Divination Tool:

– I use my Fey Tarot deck the most, but I also enjoy color divination and using dice. I have (and kind of collect) several small, unique divination tools just for kicks.

8. Favorite Tools:

-I can pick up any athame (with permission, of course) and use it. I have a small collection of blades that appealed to my spirit.

9. Favorite Sabbat:

– I love both of the equinoxes; there’s something about the balance of night and day that soothes me.

10. Favorite Season:

– I’m a winter baby, so I love the season. I’d usually say autumn, but fall in Texas doesn’t mean cooler weather.

11. Favorite Pagan Book:

– Earth, Air, Fire, Water by Scott Cunningham – my first exposure to Wicca

12. Favorite Book with Pagan Themes:

– the Sweep series by Cate Tiernan (called “Wicca” in Britain)

13. Favorite Myth:

– It’s not necessarily a myth, but Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein holds the idea that all religions and all heavens exist and are correct at the same time; I loved the concept so much that it became a part of my spirituality!

14. Patron God/dess:

– I don’t have one, per se. I’m an animist first, and I don’t worship gods in the traditional sense. I do, however, work with the Greek pantheon regularly. Nyx is the goddess I’ve interacted with the most, but Aphrodite and Artemis have also made connections. As for gods, I haven’t had a particular connection to anyone yet; I’ve worked with the Olympians, but Hades is the only one I got any kind of personal reaction from.

15. Other Aligned Deities:

– See 14.

16. Favorite ‘Pagan’ Saying:

– Live you must, and let to live / fairly take and fairly give. (It’s a set of lines from the poetic long version of the Wiccan Rede.)

17. Most Commonly Used Offering:

– I always light incense, both to alter our states of consciousness and as an offering.

18. Believe in the Rede?:

– I believe in personal responsibility and personal ethics (i.e. if I know that harming someone is negative and I choose to accept the consequences of such behavior, it is my business). Ethics should never be black or white, and no situation is exactly the same as any other.

19. Meditate?:

– Not often. I do occasionally zone out to music, mostly as a relaxation meditation.

20. Magic?:

– All of the time. Magic, to me, is the manipulation of energies. As an animist, I believe that everything has and uses energy; every moment we interact with energies around us, so every moment is magic.

21. If Yes to 20, Dark Witchcraft, Light Witchcraft, or In-between?:

– There is no such thing as dark or light, black or white magic; we are too human to be completely one thing or another. There are only shades of grey. See 18.

22. In or Out of the Broomcloset?:

– I’ve been out since 2001, all thanks to a careless/harmless question from a history teacher after he used a biblical analogy and saw a few confused faces.

23. Solitary or Coven Member:

– Why not both? I have a clan I practice with, and I often do smaller prayerwork and spellwork alone.

24. What Forms of Social Media Do You Use as a Pagan?:

– I actively use WordPress, Facebook, and Pinterest (though not just “as a pagan” technically). I have a Witchvox account, as well as memberships on several therian forums; I don’t actively use those, though.

25. If I Wasn’t Pagan/Wiccan, I Would Be…:

– Good question. I’d make an ideal Christian, because (ask around) I have a very forgiving heart and find Pope Francis to be a wonderful inspiration as a spiritual leader. However, I don’t think I would’ve connected to a male deity, even if I hadn’t been exposed to Wicca.

 

You can visit her original blog post at http://cauldronandbrew.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/twenty-five-questions/

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Artless Hands

Posted on by Larissa Lee

Nothing is more frustrating than art trapped behind artless hands.

Imagine: A night sky, the kind you see out in the country when all the lights are out. Among the stars, a rose constellation with a galaxy at its center. It’s like scent burst into starlight.

Imagine: A geeky coat of arms. The quadrants include a controller from each major gaming system (one being a mouse, for computer gaming). All are drawn in the style of medieval book art, like those fancy letters and borders in bibles of the time.

Imagine: A bold woman cloaked in furs, her raven black hair pulled back with a leather thong. Against her side rests a bow, glinting silver under the moonlight. She looks up and away, and in the distance you see a wolf outlined on a cliff. It’s as if she hears his call across the night. She’s Artemis, a goddess full of power and wildness.

This is the life I lead. Sometimes, I get a wild hair up my ass and try to paint or draw something. The end results are almost always frustrating; I often quit halfway when I realize I can’t even begin to bring the image in my mind onto paper.

 

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Defining Animism

Posted on by Larissa Lee

My Animism

I often tell people I’m an animist first, and a Wiccan second. The way I view the universe is in its vastness and connectivity. I believe that all the gods exist just as real as you and me, hearing the prayers of worshippers and sometimes even answering them. I believe that they are connected to us just as we are connected to the trees, the air we breathe, and each other.

If I choose to worship a deity in ritual, I’m calling out to a stranger (or, with repetition, a friend) to help me. The god may or may not respond or offer aid.

If I choose to worship only existence and the awesomeness of life itself, I’m calling out to the connection between everything (man, god, star, and leaf). That connection exists forever and always, before I was born and long after my death.

This is my Animism, my understanding of how reality works. What’s yours?

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Familiars, Therians, and Family Pets

Posted on by Larissa Lee

Having a familiar is overplayed by pagans. Everyone seems to think some live animal is going to rush into your arms and play magick pet-pet. What about spirit animals? What about thoughtforms created in place of famliars?

And on another hand, why don’t pagans pay attention to signs? What if your extreme love of bacon is actually Pig (spirit) trying to get as close to you as he can? I’m serious! What if Pigeon keeps leaving feathers along the paths you walk, trying to do more than just add to your feather collection? Sometimes we’re all so hard-headed when we think we know how the universe works.

Another part of me wonders if therians can even have familiars. I mean, if you ARE an animal in some form, would an animal guide be necessary? I’ve always thought of familiars as being sent to balance our tame human energies with their wilder animal ones; if you’re no tame human, is there a need for such a partnership?

And then there’s Fox. I saved a fox pelt from the thrift store (it was under some boots on a display case), and he was quite pleased. He refuses to be part of anything in my spirituality or lifestyle, but he was quite happy to take a place lazing about on my animal altar. Fox doesn’t talk to me without prodding, so he’s not really a familiar… or is he just waiting for the right time?

I would love it if the puppy we plan to get next year happened to attach itself to me, but that’s completely non-magickal. If it also liked my rituals, I’d be surprised; contrary to everyone’s claims of familiar-hood, I’ve yet to meet anyone with a magick-happy pet. I’m content with the idea of a family member rather than a covenmate.

This is how my brain works. I read a blog post that mentioned finding your familiar, and these are all the thoughts that ran through my head. The catch? They ran through together, all at once, and at least 100 times faster than I can type. This is why my conversations and blog posts can be a bit random.

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Walking my Path

Posted on by Larissa Lee

At the autumnal equinox in 1999, I sat in my bedroom with a friend and said my very first dedication to the Old Religion. In front of us sat Scott Cunningham’s “Wicca”, along with candles and incense. I was just months from my 13th birthday, and this was my first true spiritual experience.

I lived in Kentucky back then. The trees really did change color for fall, and the wind was crisp and clean. I loved the crunky of leaves under my feet as we trudged through the woods around our neighborhood. The idea that all of that nature, the beauty and openness and vastness, could be part of a religion… now THAT was appealing!

I stayed pagan. For years I studied alone, through books and the internet. I met a few friends in school who asked to be taught, so we learned together. Some of them moved on; others, even now, practice as I do.

In 2008, I was lucky enough to find a local coven. I spent a few years training under amazing and interesting people; I learned about types of paganism I’d never thought to research. I also had the chance to lead rituals much larger than anything I’d done before. I was blessed with the lessons I learned before leaving the coven. I left when I felt like there wasn’t anything else I could gain by staying.

Now, I’m a solitary practitioner again. I’m not fully Wiccan, per se. I’m a animist first, and that colors everything I do. My rituals and magic, though, are done in a Wiccan format; it fits the best for me, and I strongly believe in following my instincts.

I started this journey 14 years ago, and I’m still walking.

Posted in [witchcraft & wonder]

Thoughts on Hasan and the death penalty

Posted on by Larissa Lee

Today, Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hassan was sentenced to death. In 2009, he killed 13 people and injured more than 30 others. He put up no defense, clearly stating that he’d done it on purpose.

It is in this one area of society that I am not liberal.

I don’t believe that someone who wishes to die for their crime should be denied that wish.

I don’t believe that we (taxpayers) should get stuck paying for him to live while the appeals process runs its course (against his will).

I don’t believe that a publicly-witnessed mass murderer should get a trial, not when he was shot (but not killed) to stop the attack.

I believe the person who shot him should’ve aimed better.

I believe that a person who murders with intent and makes no denial is unworthy of sympathy.

I believe that the benefits of putting down a dangerous animal outweigh the concerns over its right to live; this applies to rabid dogs and violent people.

I will never find a modern death penalty to be unjust or unfair, given the amount of evidence that often precedes such a verdict.

I will always find it unfair when a murderer gets to live while his victims’ families get to weep.

I realize that this is a harsh and unbending way to look at justice. Thankfully, I’m not a judge nor would I be the lone voice of a jury. I’m one woman whose blood boils hot when injustice is served, and I live too close to this particular case to be objective. It will be hard to ignore Hasan’s existence and pretend we all get to move on, just as it will be hard not to pray he takes his own life (or has it taken from him) soon.

Actually, a part of me is most angered by men like Hasan due to their necessity. Balance must occur, and that means “evil” (negativity, violence, hate, etc.) must exist. It turns my stomach to accept that my spirituality demands I accept that this, too, is part of the whole. I do accept it, though, just as I accept that it will never go down smooth.