There's a fire starting in my heart. Reaching a fever pitch it's bringing me out the dark.
Adele’s song is about heartbreak and a bit of vengeance, but the line above is one that reminds me of something else.
I am a Fire spirit right now.
I’ve been an intellectual (Air), a peacekeeper (Water), and a motherly figure (Earth) at various points in my life. However, I’ve never really been a forceful person. I haven’t been a leader, except when it was required by circumstance (i.e. when I was the closest thing to a leader-type person in the group and a decision needed to be made).
Something inside of me has changed.
I felt this shift around my birthday. I just decided that there were things I wanted in life, and it was time I demand them. My goals lined up in nice little rows, with easily attainable steps clearly defined for the first time in ages. For example:
Goal: Write a fiction book.
Step 1: Revive muse. Read a ton of books until the creative bug has bitten me and I’m infected with awesomeness.
Step 2: Start writing random crap that will never get published.
Step 3: Start writing the story I find most challenging and exciting.
Step 4: Let a few friends edit/comment on the story.
Step 5: Self-publish via Kindle or Etsy, depending on marketing preference. (E-book publishing is my preference.)
Step 6: Start over and repeat process for further books.
I’ve read eight books in May (so far). I’m finishing a ninth one today. I can already feel myself awakening; I’ve had to jot down notes a few times for random story snippettes and ideas. Now, most of those will never become actual stories; however, they’re a clear sign that my muse is being resurrected. It’s exciting!
I’ve started on other goals, as well. I’m eating healthy and trying to nudge my body back toward fertility (after years of birth control), with the eventual goal being a baby. I’ve reinitiated into my coven, with the eventual goal of being a high priestess and teacher. I’m taking baby steps toward changing the atmosphere (and junk) in my home, with the eventual goal of decluttered zen. All in all, I’m very driven and actively moving toward all of my goals.
It was during my pre-initiation meditation that I realized a fire was burning inside of me. (Coincidentally, the fire alarms went off upstairs where I was meditating…). Fire is the only element I haven’t taken any interest in before, nor have I actively worked with it in any capacity beyond basic quarter calls.
Fire is destructive, but it’s also cleansing. It burns away the underbrush and rubbish to clear the way for new growth.
Maybe it’s time for some big changes in my life?
We shall see.