I’d have to say I’m scared
I’m scared cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what will happen
what will happen when I go
when I go to lay down
to lay down in my bed
in my bed that’s full of pillows
full of pillows, tears, and dread
tears and dread I feel each evening
each evening trying to sleep
trying to sleep away my pain
my pain that runs soul deep
Tag: Published
currently published and available in a book for purchase
a Will-full woman [poem]
Sometimes the force of my own Will scares me.
The way it bubbles up, teeming with ravenous purpose
seeking with silent demands my cooperation.
I am just Her host.
She swallows me
down
even as I try to find my footing on the fence
between letting my Will be done
and making people happy.
Why can’t I do both?
Does my iron-rod spine require the melting down of another’s heart?
Does their flesh serve no purpose but as fuel
in the fires of my own forge?
I am a gentle creature,
and I do not harm.
I try not to harm.
I harm,
far more often than I care to admit.
I am blundering toward an eventuality,
a future I see so clearly it could be mistaken for glass.
Each step is a decisive move
made by an indecisive body.
I cannot make myself move any faster,
and yet
I’m already sprinting toward my future
as if pausing for a breath would bleed the Will to live right out of me.
I am running toward Her,
toward a Will-full, wild woman
after spending years clawing my way in the wrong direction.
I am running full of fear,
mind-numbing anxiety streaking down my sweat-drenched spirit.
I am afraid of becoming a strong woman,
a Will-full woman,
a woman who does not bend, nor break.
I am afraid of losing myself
to a woman I’ve always wanted to be.
mundane magic [poem]
magic is the way
heat blossoms through your core when you sip hot cocoa
the warmth filling in your empty places
until you’re full and content with yourself
at least until the cup is empty
magic is the way
reading a good story drags your heart up and down
tumbling left and right after the characters
until they finally find their happy ending
and you find peace in the thought you’ll find one too
magic is the way
it only takes a few minutes of good music
to loosen up your spine
and find tension dripping off your skin with the sweat
your body relaxing into the primal beat
magic is the way
moments can slip by unnoticed
accidental time travel while you’re focusing on unimportant things
instead of enjoying the pumping of your blood
through your own veins
the wolf girl walks in human skin [poem]
hello
is this okay?
I’m not sure if you remember me but
hello
I’m a human
no
really
I promise I’m human this time
I made sure of it
checked the box on the way out
yes
hello?
I used to curl up next to your sleeping body
in that hidden alcove
the cave no one else could see behind those bushes
do you remember it?
you let me eat your scraps and
I led you to the next meal
nose to the ground
paws careful not to make a sound
we were a pack or
a partnership
family of a sort
I kept you safe from the hungry ones
I always kept you safe
hello?
fallen angels [poem]
I had wings once in elementary school
at recess I’d let them unfold
feathers ruffled by the spring breeze
no one questioned them
no one told me to be more human
but still
I’d carefully tuck them back in
when we returned to class
shift myself into something normal
the wings faded away with puberty and
I didn’t miss them once they disappeared
but sometimes
I wonder if the devil fell before or after
forgetting how to fly
birthing a demon [poem]
I would follow you into the depths of hell for a kiss
this is how thoroughly you’ve ruined me
made me unholy
this is what a newborn demon looks like
you’ve won this twisted game of temptation
convinced me to forsake myself
with just a smile
sin has never been so damn delicious
as this almost love
this not quite romance
I would rather be made a demon
than be slave to your desire
I’m a wildfire
out of control and terrifying and you
can’t contain me
hell can’t even contain me
but it can try
you can shove me down into the darkness
until the only light left is Lucifer’s wicked smile
and the last sound you’ll hear from me
will still be laughter
at least the devil knows my real name
on the feeding and care of succubi [poem]
we get a bad rep as
sex crazed demons out to devour your soul
but the truth is far more complicated
I can taste your pleasure on my tongue
when I make you laugh
I breathe in your happiness
when you read those text messages
from your special friend
oh yes
my sweet pet
I feed off of everything that brings you joy
sex is like a candy bar
a quick sugar fix but never a good meal
let me swallow your smile until I’m full to bursting
trust me when I say you can do it
feed the succubus in me with all your clothes still on
I’m totally a dragon [poem]
if you squint a bit
you can see the truth about me
yes
I am a dragon
my true form hidden inside of
tattooed skin and wild hair
but look
I’ve still got a nest
a pile of pillows and blankets that in no way
resembles a blanket fort
and look
I’ve got a hoard of books and movies
that are definitely as valuable as any mound of gold
and look
I’ve still got wings
a mind alight in flight and
okay
alright
so I don’t really have wings
but still
I swear it’s true
I’m totally a dragon
ghost [poem]
I want to dress up as a ghost
and haunt someplace full of fog and eerie silence
I want my mouth to be all sharp teeth and terrifying
I want to hear your pulse jump
when I appear out of the mist
I want you to shiver at my grey skin
too scared to scream or run away
let me be your horror story darling
I’ll be the best one yet
changeling [poem]
the older I get
the further the glamour fades
the less human I become
this old magic isn’t holding up well
to the rampage of technology and time
the digital world a comfortable mask
while these sunsets and moonrises
tick away at mortal life
I think they’re starting to notice how I don’t age
this body refusing to wrinkle and ripen
into something less adolescent
I probably have just a few more years
before these humans realize
what they’ve had hidden in their midst
since 1987
dry land living [poem]
she stayed in the barren and brittle plains for you
your love an anchor around her waist
she stayed hydrated on
the sweat of your skin and her own tears
until it wasn’t enough
it was bound to happen sooner or later
a mermaid is not made for dry land living and so
she took off
traveled thousands of miles to reach the sea
to get back home again
your love couldn’t quench the need for coastal storms
and the steady heartbeat of the ocean
it was always destined to call her home
humans are dangerous addictions [poem]
when you offered me your throat
laid out your body like a banquet in my bedroom
I should’ve sank my teeth into your flesh
taken your unthinking sacrifice
before sunrise made you remember yourself
I have so much left to say to you
but the light
the light made me leave
not your light though
because your light was pure moonbeam and hellfire
I wish my mouth knew your skin
fragile pulse against kiss-bruised lips
or that my tongue knew your taste
rather than just the taste of your name
humans are dangerous addictions
it may take an eternity to forget your voice
and the ache you left behind
when you offered me
a taste
Lethe, goddess of being forgotten [poem]
imagine a girl who spends most of her life moving
traveling from one place to another
never settling down
as she leaves a place
the people left behind forget her name
her face
because she’s forgettable
I guess
the way a stranger on the bus is forgotten
when they get off at the next stop
it’s always been this way for her
like she drags every memory from her friends
and wrings out whatever might
bring their minds wondering back toward her
it’s like being forgotten is her superpower
or maybe it’s her curse
either way
it gets lonely when you’re the only person
who remembers
Larissa Lee 