I need you
the way every wounded heart needs a medic
your touch
the only balm that heals me
you are healing me
when I climb down into the darkest caverns of myself
you are the rope that leads back to the light
you are the light
the reminder to laugh at
grey skies and muddy boots and life
you are life
at least to me
because I need you
because I will always need you
Tag: Love / Heartbreak
obviously any poems about love, heartbreak, and relationships
nightmares [poem]
I had a nightmare once
that I was chased down by a rabid dog
I woke up scared
my mind flitting back
to the first time a dog really did corner me
with angry teeth and a vicious growl
it took years for me to move past my fear
to learn not to flinch at a dog’s bark
I had a nightmare about drowning
after falling from a bridge
my arms heavy and unable to bring me back up for air
I awoke with the sick sensation of being out of control
suffocating in my own skin
I’ve always avoided tight spaces and deep water
there was a nightmare that had me embarrassed
as a trusted friend spilled my everything
to strangers for an easy laugh
I woke up red in the face
nauseous
and almost afraid to tell anyone my secrets
to trust someone deeply enough
to willingly become so vulnerable
my nightmares have always played off my fears
like nightmares do
reminding me through subliminal messaging
that I’m careful for a reason
maybe that’s why I dream of you sometimes
because being loved and then let go
is a recurring nightmare I can’t seem to escape
paper heart [poem]
you can try to get rid of me
rub an eraser across the scribbled mark I’ve made
on your scrap paper heart
but you’ll never remove the proof
that I was there
that you loved me
even without the looping letters of my name visible
there’s still a mark
an indentation in the page
you will never be the person you were before we met
your notebook will never be pristine again
because you let me in
a writer with a pencil and love
and a story you can never forget
but if you do
just check the notes I marked in your memories
I’m sure you’ll find they’re written in
impossibly permanent ink
Mjolnir [poem]
you are sitting in the crater
made by your crash landing here not so long ago
you feel lost
like you’re missing something important
but please stay put
when the strangers come
wrapping their hands around you
and trying to take
they are not worthy
you
are beyond their small egos and smaller dreams
do not move
you are a powerful treasure
forged in the heart of a dying star
awe inspiring myth and magic
no living being has the right to you
unless they’ve earned it
proved their worthiness to be on par
with the gods themselves
you are stormbringer and lightning queen in one
a heavy burden for anyone to hold
let he who is worthy try his hand at loving you
if he dare
time travelers [poem]
in examining my failed string of relationships
I’ve come to the conclusion that time
has never been on my side
or rather
those at my side have
never had the same time in mind
I’ve been loved by men who cling to
the memory of someone I was years ago
as if that version of me isn’t already long gone
those men love in limbo
trapped in the paradox of
having me but not really having me
confused when I’m more stranger than lover
they are drawn to the ghost of a girl I’ll never be again
I’ve been loved by men who always
watched the horizon
their thoughts seven moves ahead
while they worry about being remembered
and finding fame
loving me becomes a crutch
something to hold them back
by virtue of my unwillingness to shoot
for the same distant stars
you see
I’ve never been one for time travel
never felt the need to live and love in anything but
the present tense
and so I’ve become this odd convergence
a fixed point in time that lovers pass through
on their journeys forward and back
none of them ever staying here
now
with me
this is what it’s like to love a time traveler
to be left over and over and over
until the reasons they give you all sound the same
the faces blur together
a dozen men or a man with a dozen faces
either way it starts to feel like time’s just repeating
in an infinite loop of almosts and near misses
a good cry [poem]
I love stories that make me cry
a tearful catharsis
the ones that twist me up inside
like I’m the one that’s lost
like I’m the one being left behind
like I’m the one with nothing left to lose
I love getting so wrapped up in someone else’s hurt
that I can’t feel my own
maybe that’s why I loved us
loved you with all your insecurities
and fear of commitment
like I needed someone to yearn for
like I needed someone’s lies to believe in
like I needed someone weak enough to
break my heart
but not strong enough to mean it
I love a good cry and so
I loved you
thermodynamic equilibrium [poem]
someone once described the perfect couple
as opposites
one person with cold hands
the other warm
in holding hands they reach
thermodynamic equilibrium
just a couple big words for balance
really
the idea made me smile
because I’ve always been a natural hot spring
regardless of the weather around me
always warmer than people I touch
I was forged rather than born
a creature of molten intellect and the slow burn
to be balanced I guess I need
a snow angel or
a frost giant
someone full of frozen fractals and icy calm
I want chilled fingers against my overheated neck
the kind of contrast that leaves both of us
gasping
screw equilibrium
I just want to feel a shock
a reminder that I’m still here
smoldering
insomnia [poem]
legend says
when you can’t sleep at night
you’re awake in someone else’s dreams
I guess I’m flattered then
to find myself kidnapped by your mind
as insomnia holds me tight in these twilight hours
but I’d rather be sleeping
than haunting your dreamscape
a lonely specter
a fond memory on replay
wake up now
please
release me from this vicious cycle
of yearning and returning
tonight why don’t you sleep dreamless
and let me finally rest my eyes too
hello [poem]
you gotta put the hell in hello
to be mine
love
because the only way I’ll trust you
is if you’re an honest liar
the kind of demon who makes deals where
you get exactly what you asked for
it’s your fault if you ask for the right thing
in the wrong way
I need a damned soul with sin stained hands
to join me in this
constant parade of fuck it
someone who’s down with just riding the chaos
until it crashes
you dark and twisty thing
you are the wicked grin before the game begins
and me
I’m ready to play
sweet tooth [poem]
if one thing could be true
in every instance
it is that I have a horrendous sweet tooth
the kind that conquers an entire box of chocolates
alone
in the dark
and aches for more
my heart is tainted by my constant desire for
sickening sweetness
sliding my love around sugar-tongued liars
until my teeth hurt and my heart breaks
this is why I loved her
a cupcake full of sin and strawberry jam
topped with cyanide and sweet cream frosting
I never should’ve tasted
her poisonous pastry of a pulse
never should’ve trusted her rusty mouth
full of teeth and tetanus
let her eat the damned cake herself
and choke on it
I’m finally full
paralyzed [poem]
these words are the stab wound
and the blood running from it
each poem
a knife
jerked free from this spine of mine
you make me feel so numb
nerves severed but
still alive
paralyzed from the heart down
like this is all I’ll ever feel
like this is who I am now
like this will never not feel cold inside
like this
just like this
prism [poem]
I love people for the littlest things
the kind smile of an old man
hobbling by with his cane
the innocent questions of a little kid
who’s never seen bright green hair before
the snarky mouth of another cashier
as she makes me laugh
love is beautifully diverse
a range of gentle pastel interest
to deep jewel toned passion
I live for the rainbow effect
of loving a little bit of everything each day
call my heart a prism
in the light of each new day
I will always love in an explosion of color
loved in pieces [poem]
there was the boy who loved my body
but only tasted me with his teeth
the boy who loved these writer’s hands
but never wanted to be a character in my stories
the boy who loved the home inside this heart
big enough for him to crawl into
there was the girl who loved my shadows
but cast no light to see them
the girl who loved my constant loyalty
but wanted nothing of being loved so thoroughly
people have always loved me in pieces
crumbling away so much of me
to find only the parts they liked the taste of
I might spend my entire life
looking for a collector
someone who wants to love the complete set
the entirety of me
Larissa Lee 