where the hell will you come from?
it’s the first question that runs through my mind
when I try to imagine your arrival in my life
like
where well we meet?
what will be the first thing to tie us together?
it’s hard to imagine
how you’ll get past my weirdness
that force field of oddness I exude
I wonder how long it’ll take you to step up
to get past my wife and my impossible honesty
and be okay with me
all of me
I’m not saying that I think I’m unlovable
I just recognize how difficult it is
to jump into the deep end
when you can’t see the bottom
Tag: Love / Heartbreak
obviously any poems about love, heartbreak, and relationships
tears [poem]
I never weaponized my tears
but rather
let water be water,
let it wear away at your stone heart
until our healing became a canyon
echoing that truth
between us.
love language [poem]
I lie awake in bed sometimes
thinking about the way your love is
such a foreign tongue
you unsatisfied
with snack sized bites of my time
you ask for a feast
as if my love has only ever left you hungry
you ask me why I insist on sleeping naked
as if you haven’t seen this rose in full bloom
as if a rose has ever
returned to rosebud by choice
you tell me to keep my hands under control
as if they don’t scribble
I love you’s
against your skin
I lie awake at night to wonder
if this love language has become
too garbled to get the message across
that I love you
with every bone and breath in this body
[Fiction Review] “Hunted by the Sky” by Tanaz Bhathena
Full Title: Hunted by the Sky
Author: Tanaz Bhathena
Published: Upcoming Release Date – June 23, 2020 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Genres: Young Adult, Epic Fantasy, Science Fiction & Dystopian Romance
Edition Details: 384 pages, Hardcover
Source: {Advance Readers’ Edition}
Rating: {4.5/5 stars}
This is a spoiler-free review. No details will be shared from the storyline itself that aren’t available or inferred from the book jacket and online descriptions.
First Glance
The gods of reading took pity on me, and I once again found a book in my Facebook feed. Fierce Reads promoted this novel via ads that allowed viewers to request an advanced readers’ edition. After reading the description, I had to take a chance:
Gul has spent her life running. She has a star-shaped birthmark on her arm, and in the kingdom of Ambar, girls with such birthmarks have been disappearing for years. Gul’s mark is what caused her parents’ murder at the hand of King Lohar’s ruthless soldiers and forced her into hiding to protect her own life. So when a group of rebel women called the Sisters of the Golden Lotus rescue her, take her in, and train her in warrior magic, Gul wants only one thing: revenge.
Cavas lives in the tenements, and he’s just about ready to sign his life over to the king’s army. His father is terminally ill, and Cavas will do anything to save him. But sparks fly when he meets a mysterious girl—Gul—in the capital’s bazaar, and as the chemistry between them undeniably grows, he becomes entangled in a mission of vengeance—and discovers a magic he never expected to find.
Dangerous circumstances have brought Gul and Cavas together at the king’s domain in Ambar Fort…a world with secrets deadlier than their own.
Added to that, the book is specifically mentioned that it explores identity, class struggles, and a world inspired by medieval India. I couldn’t resist!
Positive Bits
As someone who enjoys YA, I still find myself frustrated by characters who act a little too immature or naive. Thankfully, Gul and Cavas (the main characters of our story) manage to find that balance between youthful folly and energetic luck.
The chapters pivot between the viewpoints of Gul (female) and Cavas (male), which is one of my favorite methods of telling a multi-POV story. We even get a chapter at the end in the POV of an antagonist who will obviously be around for book 2.
The magic and beings in Ambar are built well, obviously steeped in a familiarity with mythology and a heavy dose of creativity. I admire the way Bhathena sketch out our experience, using a first person POV to allow us to really experience each location ourselves.
I love a good revenge scheme, especially if nothing goes according to plan. I won’t say more, as I’m not willing to share any spoilers, but I enjoyed being wrong about where the story takes us.
Less Enjoyable Bits
Some of the side characters should’ve been given more depth, in my opinion. The story isn’t made less by their flatness, but I think it could’ve been made even richer if we saw more of those people.
For example, the three main people Gul interacts with from the Sisters of the Golden Lotus are slightly 3-D, but I found myself disappointed to not get more out of their backstories and actions. We get bits and pieces, enough for their presence to make sense and be important, but we don’t get a full picture of their character.
I also wish more characters were given depth, largely because that tends to leave you wondering who is important to the plot. It’s not essential, but I prefer a little less lead-by-the-hand reading. When there are multiple fleshed out characters, you end up guessing (and sometimes being wrong about) who will play a key role in the story. When only a handful of specific people get full descriptions, you know they’re the important players and all of the guess work is lost. (Again, that’s a personal preference.)
Tidbits Worth Repeating*
* Without spoiling the plot, but giving you a taste of the mood…
“You have to eat sometime, princess.”
I look up from the plate full of lotus sabzi, dal, and rice and into Amira’s dark eyes.
“No one cares, do they?” I ask. “About girls like us.”
Something shifts in her gaze, something I don’t quite understand. “Eat,” she says again before leaving the room.
I don’t.
One kindness for another, the mammoth tells me as I cling to it. You did not let me die in the market; I will not let you fall.
Do not judge yourself too harshly, Savak-putri Gulnaz. Subodh’s voice feels like a gentle breeze in my mind. I am older than you are and have made mistakes that are even bigger. There are always ways to make amends.
Is it worth the coin?
Yes! I recommend this book if you like big worlds based on various real world cultures (other than European). I’ll be keeping an eye out for book 2.
moth [poem]
we two are the epitome of a moth to a flame
but I can’t quite tell which of us is on fire
and which is drawn to a burning end
I used to blame myself
assumed the weakness was mine
that I had tattered wings hidden on my back and
the inability to turn away from your unholy light
but I did turn away
only to find you wandering
returning to my sight
with an unexpected flutter of hurt
at my extended absence
tell me how to warn you away
all I’m good at is shining brightly
a furnace of life refusing to die out
not even to save a moth like you
fix this [poem]
I could fix this
I could run my shaking hands
over the sharp edges of our brokenness
until my blood glues us back together again
please
let me fix this
let me offer up my everything to
whichever gods we’ve angered with careless words
just please don’t say we can’t fix this
don’t say it’s too late to
sew up this gaping wound between our
bruised and battered hearts
I swear I can fix this
please
I swear I’ll do anything
if you’ll just let me try one more time
please just
let me fix this
please
asteroid [poem]
he is an asteroid with planetary aspirations
like all he has to do is
get enough people to look up and notice him
and he’ll get to join the solar system’s special line up
like suddenly his tiny ball of dust will matter
swaying star signs into new alignments
like hanging around the cosmic belt
isn’t good enough for him anymore
I think he misses the mark
forgets how many bigger bodies will always exist
in this vast universe
his dim presence forever outshined by brighter lights
and his dark spots
never matching the intense darkness
between the stars themselves
my heart [poem]
my heart is empty walls with dust outlines
after all the picture frames are packed away
it’s the old socks lost
between the machines at the laundromat
it’s that one drawer
where all the random junk collects
until you start calling it the junk drawer
my heart is the last forgotten potato
covered in eyes after weeks of being left alone
(there’s a metaphor there
about growing even in the dark)
it’s that spot no one else visits
and hiding there when you can’t breathe
it’s the ridiculously hot shower
after standing out in the rain
but it’s also the rain
and the sweat
and the tears
my heart is ocean
full of too much salt
to quench anyone’s thirst
the kind of woman I married [poem]
I married the kind of woman
who knows how to put me in my place
that is to say
when I forget myself and
start to act the part of peasant at someone else’s feet
she readjusts my crown and
reminds me that I’m a queen
and yet
if my reign should ever turn sour
leave me a disastrous dictator or
with the false belief that I am anyone’s god
I know she’ll quickly bring me back down to earth
down to my knees if need be
always love the kind of woman
who sees past the masks you wear
the kind of woman who can help you
take them off at night
so you can breathe
cheap vodka [poem]
losing him tasted like cheap vodka
harsh and hard to swallow
but if you wanna get drunk on life
you gotta learn to roll with the punches
and shoot back that burning liquid
tears in your eyes
from all that bitterness you have to drink
until the bad spirits settle in your stomach
and everything gets a little hazy
you loosen up and suddenly
everything you bottled up is gone
and letting go feels a little less impossible
on being a lesson [poem]
I’d like to think
I taught you how to love her right
my laughter taught you how to make her smile
my tears showed you how to say you’re sorry
and mean it
I’d like to think
I was the best lesson in loving someone else
that you will ever have
maybe I’m such a good teacher
she’ll never need to know
the lengths we went through
to build you into a better person
just for her
it’s not like I’d ever really considered
keeping you for myself
don’t let me go [poem]
they say
if you love someone
you have to let them go
sometimes
I think I could stand to be a little less loved
my hugs could be just a little bit harder to leave
I wish someone would hold onto me
with tightly clasped fingers
and refuse to follow the rules
because I’m tired of being let go
loved with open doors and quick goodbyes
as if my heart is just that easy to lose track of
hazardous [poem]
did my kisses taste like poison on your lips?
did my racing heartbeat and breathy sighs
sound more like war drums
like angry sirens?
did my scent cloud your senses like a drug
taking away your control
your very breath?
did my touch burn you like acid
etching me into your flesh
a permanent mark?
did you look at me and see the danger
in loving something so uncontrollable
so hazardous to your health?
Larissa Lee 