my depression is kinder now than it once was
I need you to understand
love
that I will never not be depressed
but when I’m happy
depression is the quiet found at the end of a long laugh
the ache in your bones after a wild dance is over
it’s the kiss of heat lingering on your skin
after a day at the beach
my depression reminds me to be grateful
for the moments of bright happiness
in a world so used to grey skies
some days I will wear a smile
because I love you and I’m happy
some days I will fake a smile for everyone but you
because I love you and I’m unhappy
and I will trust you to handle that kind of honesty
with your too big heart and your perfect hugs
and your willingness to sit with me
in my self-made shadows
and just breathe
it’s not about you, Love [poem]
Larissa Lee 