Posted in [poetry]

embrace [poem]

I’m trying to find things to embrace
rather than continuing to float here
moved only by the current of the waters
and never with any effort to steer
toward or away from anything
I’m trying to stir this listless body into action
knowing it feels so good to dance
once you get started
but lying here unmoved is also good
and easier to not do
I’m trying to choose anything and everything
that pulls me away from inaction
even if it’s uncomfortable or awkward to get started
better to stumble than stand still
always so struck in my own head

Posted in [poetry]

traveler [poem]

I know myself by virtue of having never
been given a moment to linger
unchanged in a place of stillness
instead
I’ve traveled more miles than some family cars
felt the warm anger of a Kentucky summer storm
the sharp sting of summer’s hot kiss in Texas
the caffeinated bite of Germany in December
I’ve known people who have also traveled
unnumbered miles before we met
their roadmap worn in different places than mine
but both equally well used
this is how you build a raindrop child into an ocean
let her waters collect and grow
from puddle to pond to Pacific
I know how to navigate by the stars of
my own secret hopes and long lost memories
thanks to a lifetime spent
never walking the same path twice
only a traveler can know they’re home
by the way the trees move in the wind

Posted in [poetry]

midwinter love [poem]

time slips by a phantom
without a whisper or goodbye
and suddenly it’s midwinter
and the grey skies murmur our names
a couple’s incantation
drawing us together to defeat the cold
and I want to watch the seasons change with you
taste the midsummer berries
under the blinding sun
and know we’ll melt next winter too
that new spring growth and dead autumn leaves
are both beauties we will witness together
again and again

Posted in [poetry]

I’m tired, Mom [poem]

I’m tired Mom
so tired of trying to convince people to do what’s right
I’m tired of men using
women’s bodies for their amusement
and the surprise they always show
when they finally get called out
like sexual harassment isn’t a problem
until you say its name 3 times in the mirror
I’m tired of trying to have civil conversations about gun control
when all they’ll say is
touch my guns and you’re dead
as if living in an apocalyptic fantasy LARP is normal
I’m tired of my rights getting chipped away
in the name of their God
as if the Bible says to punish the women
and the non-whites
and the gays
and the poor
Jesus must be so proud
at this point I’m out of steam Mom
my soul drained of any urge to continue the good fight
how good can it be when it’s always losing?
instead
I’m going to hand them the reigns
and watch the world burn
I may die
but at least my last words can be
I told you so

Posted in [poetry]

on the bad days [poem]

I pretend my way through every interaction
working my smile through muscle memory alone
each laugh feels like an echo
of the poorly recorded laugh track
from an old school sitcom
I struggle with small talk
as if I’ve forgotten the English language
leaving me to ask people to repeat themselves
almost every time they speak
I jerk myself out of thought spirals
the moment they start
but it still feels like I’m swirling down the drain
maybe the sewers are where I belong

Posted in [poetry]

a dragon’s hoard [poem]

when people break your trust you have a choice
become hard or become cautious
hard means you’re safe in your castle
an untouched treasure in the depths of the dungeon
cautious means you’re vigilant
eyes tracking every flicker and flinch around you
the closer they get
the tighter you’re wound
trust is a commodity worth hoarding
so when I say I trust you Love
I’m telling you that your presence makes me unwind
a subconscious reaction
to the safety you’ve come to represent