(a letter to my dearest love,
to be read when the moon is full)
darling
this bright night is blinding after days of
nothing but the darkness of my own thoughts
I have never been a person of faith
a believer in God
or good
or a good god
I have always known that reality is more likely
to slap my hand than hold it
and so
forgive me for forgetting about the moon
about you
forgive me for closing my eyes and
blocking out its growing light
the cycle of hope is full of
ebb and flow
wax and wane
perhaps I just got tangled in the little things
my feet trapped in place with no help in sight
stuck in my own chaos
perhaps I forgot what love can look like
as if there aren’t more permutations of love
than there are stars in the universe
forgive me for squeezing my eyes shut in fear
for failing to see you there
love
in the middle of all that muck
I’ve never been one to find comfort in being alone
not when alone looks and feels
too much like lonely
but somehow
I find a way to isolate myself
every time
Larissa Lee 