when I finally start writing [poem]

I’m hesitant to start writing a story
love
because writing a love story is
admitting that I don’t have you
let me explain
all my life
I’ve written stories
mostly romance as us hopeless romantics often do
but I only write about love
when it’s missing from my life
only drawing out two people falling into happiness
when my feet are on steady ground
and so
when I finally start writing this
newest novella
I’ll be admitting how absent you are
how lonely I am
and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet