accidental sin eater [poem]

there were times
I couldn’t stand myself for being
less than
for failing at being lover
being woman
being mother
being friend
I played accidental sin eater
to a circle of unrepentant sinners
let their demons inside this heavy heart
and let myself be made unholy in their image
and I just
felt like each breath was stolen
from someone better worth that gulp of air
but you
you made me new
purified my hurt and gave me absolution
dragged me up from my bloody knees
and made my prayers less empty
you played god
with two steady hands and
the quiet grace that demanded I keep breathing
you convinced me I deserved to live
so thank you