asthma is the perfect metaphor
for living with depression
your body is not your body
but betrayer
uncontrolled mutiny of a thing
your lungs pretend to function
breathe in
breathe out
but the oxygen isn’t entering your bloodstream
you are suffocating
even as you continue to inhale lungfuls
of unreachable hope
the rest of your body goes into a wild panic
flight or fight
because you feel like you’re dying slowly
you feel like dying
slowly
medications can help
sometimes
forcing a clearing of internal gunk and tubes
until breathing returns to almost normal
oxygen feeding into trembling flesh
as an apology without meaning
because this is not the first asthma attack
it will not be the last one
it takes a stubborn persistence
and a formidable will
to keep going when an attack hits
to not lie down and wish away
all this
depression is the battered lungs
and the tired body begging them for air
depression is like asthma [poem]
Larissa Lee 