it’s hard to explain sometimes
but this is how I pray
hands clasped around phone
fingers sliding across the keyboard
I swype out my supplication
in quick strokes
sigils
formed on the screen by my skin’s oils
I do not light a candle
do not wave incense in offering to my gods
I give them only my heartbeat
only the breath trapped in my throat
only my confessional honesty
in the face of the internet’s anonymity
I ask for nothing
for everything
for a little help down here please
for a sign that I’m not fucking this all up beyond repair
for a reason to stay
I seek answers to bring clarity
then seek questions for the answers sitting
right in front of me
letting myself fall down
the digital rabbit hole of random research
until suddenly it’s all clear
because you see
that
is how my prayers are answered
one unexpected click at a time