Posted in [poetry]

the bitter truth [poem]

I won’t thank you for it
for the lesson you taught me
but I understand the part you played
you crawled into my life
drenched in self-loathing and stale beer
grief heavy on your heart
you were looking for light in the darkness
and I played your lighthouse
shining your way out of that lonely place
you had a hard time believing that I could love you
but I’m patient
I waited you out
hands open in offering
you accepted that I might be telling the truth
and we both smiled
it was beautiful
as many venomous creatures are beautiful
all bright color and deadly speed
we fell in love
wrapped ourselves in its familiar grace
and healed
or at least you did
in the years between us
I’m not sure where we lost it
where the love died
there was no flash
no angry fire
no sudden emptiness
that would’ve been a blessing I think
instead there was a slow decay
I tried to feed your happiness
to give you all my love
wide open and warm
you went out to the bar
spent every weekend with your friends
whispering doubts about us
I slept alone
clueless
until the night you told me it was over
that your depression came from being tied to me
tied down to a future you didn’t want
there was no discussion
you were done
so we were done
I let you go
because what else could I do
in the face of all your
certainty
I held myself together with iron threads of
willpower and wishes
discovering an unfamiliar strength in my own wreckage
I learned where my lines are drawn
found the dreams I could grant myself
and made them happen
you were cruel and careless and unkind
so I will never thank you
but I’m not sure I’d know what I want from this life
without your betrayal to open my eyes
and that’s the bitter truth

Author:

bookdragon, poet, witch

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